The Wheel of Awareness is one of those very simple models that can be the practice of a lifetime — a practice I have found immensely valuable in better understanding myself and others. Essentially, it’s a method of separating our experiences into their components: Our perceptions of what happened, the thoughts we have about it, the associated emotions, our desires for ourselves and others, and our intentions.
Sensory Data: Even if you and I witness the same event, you may see, hear, or remember something I missed (and vice versa). No one of us has complete knowledge of the reality of what happened. For me, this is helpful reminder to remain open to more information.
Thoughts: There is the reality of what happened, and then there are the values, beliefs, and past experiences that affect how we interpret it. Our minds are so quick to interpret that separating what happened from the meaning we made of it — and recognizing that’s not the only meaning that’s possible — can be both a challenge and an important key to understanding.
Emotions: My emotions are at least partially based on my interpretation of the facts, not just the facts themselves. If I have believe the event we just witnessed was a medical emergency and you know that it was a role play, we’re going to have very different reactions. The neurochemical emotional reaction I’m having doesn’t just disappear once I understand this was pretend. Even so, I may be in need of empathy.
Sorting through these first three portions of The Wheel can in itself lead to greater insight and understanding. With that foundation, I am better able to be clear about my needs, desires, wants, and requests.
The Wheel can also be used to work backwards to get a better understanding of why someone has proposed a particular plan or made a request or demand. What are the beliefs and emotions informing that plan or request? What event or events set the context? This is the essence of interest-based negotiations.
Many people and organizations have developed variations of The Wheel, each of which is a valuable resource in its own right.
- Conscious Leadership’s Speak Inarguably
- Marshall Rosenberg’s Non-Violent Communication
- Gervase Bushe’s The Experience Cube
- The Haven’s Communication Model
So simple, and so much to explore!
Copyright © 2023 Lynn Thorsell, All rights reserved.
Photo by Ivana Cajina on Unsplash
The practice of change << More Notes
